What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
