My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
