she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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