I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
