i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
