I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
