I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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