craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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