So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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