i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
