It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The Olympian is in my bed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
