OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
