Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
