At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
