I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize