Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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