i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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