so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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