i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize