I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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