dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So much Jack, so little girl.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My life is pants optional.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
