I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
