I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
