yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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