guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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