So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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