your room smells of hookers.
And success
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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