I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
