Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
