She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
