No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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