I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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