if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
