That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
