I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
