Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
