hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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