It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
