16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
