____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
please don't ironically join a cult
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