And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
