So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
