you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
