It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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