Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
