nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
