Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
