you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
two words: eviction party
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
