Small penises have feelings too.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
