I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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