I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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