So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
