Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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