no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
