"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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