she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize