The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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