Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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