I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
