And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
