The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
